Why My Husband Joined The Army
It's been two weeks since Gavin started his Army journey. I wished I could tell you how he's doing, but unfortunately, I don't know yet. What I do know is that there are many families whose loved one want to serve in the Military and don't know how to respond to that. Today, I would like to share with you why my husband decided to enlist, and how I finally decided I was going to support him.
Gavin decided he wanted to enlist soon after we got married. At first, I was willing to hear his recruiter and learn more about it, but I didn't really want Gavin to enlist. My husband had always wanted to work in law enforcement before, and it took a while for me to finally accept that he wanted to be a policeman, but joining the Military? That was another deal. My dad retired from the Peruvian Navy after having being working there for thirty years, and although I never really knew what kind of person I would marry when I was younger, I always knew I didn't want to marry anyone involved in the Military. Of course, that changes when you're already married and your husband decides he wants to do it!
This became a reason to argue over and over again. I share this because people have problems and each marriage is different. This became a trial for us. Gavin would always bring it up even though I didn't want to hear anything about it, and I would always change my mind about the subject. This was because I felt in my heart that it was the right decision, but being newlyweds, I felt like I couldn't bear being apart from him for so long. This would hurt Gavin because he really wanted to do it and felt like I wasn't supporting his dream when he had supported me in everything I wanted to do. I wanted to be a good wife. I wanted to be as supporting as him, but at the same time, I couldn't do it. Months after having this issue, I had a panic attack that changed everything. I got sick for days because I had been so stressed that I became physically exhausted. Gavin got really scared and promised me he would never bring the subject up again because he didn't want me to get that sick again. Although this caused him a lot of pain, he fulfilled his promise.
It took a year for me to change my mind, and it was long after we had already stopped considering it an option. Gavin worked in different jobs throughout that period. Before we decided that he was joining the Military, he was working 12-14 hours a day and we barely saw each other. It was also a job that would require a lot of physical effort, which was hurting Gavin's body. He would rarely complain though, and we were both putting a lot of effort towards our family. One day, he told me he wanted to do construction. He was looking at different construction academies and they were all expensive and long, which wouldn't allow Gavin to work. This concerned us because we couldn't afford that. We both needed to work. Around the same time, my brother in law decided to join the Army. I couldn't believe it! He was the one person I would have never thought would join the Military. He already had a degree and everything, but it was hard for him to find a job on his field, so he decided he would give the Army a chance. If you would like to learn about his experience, click here.
When my brother in law told us about his decision, he and my sister would always tell me to consider it. I remember it made me upset at first, since that subject had created so many problems between Gavin and I the first year of our marriage, but at the same time, I wanted him to have a career and we didn't know how we were going to make that happen because Gavin didn't want to go to the university and we couldn't afford the police or the construction academy.
One of those days, I told Gavin I wanted to see a recruiter. I knew the Army had construction as a career too and that they would practically pay Gavin for studying it and working at it. I knew my husband had a dream, and honestly, every time I would think about the Army, I would feel in my heart that it was the right decision, even though I didn't want to accept it. I always had it on my mind and I knew my husband did too. I then decided I was going to give the Military another chance. Gavin got really excited and told me that he was ready to ship out anytime, but that he wouldn't talk about it to me until I made up my mind. He wanted me to figure it out by myself, with no pressure.
Now, this is where the exciting part starts. When Gavin was first interested in the Military, he had a really nice recruiter, but something I didn't like about him was that he tried to contact Gavin for months, even after he had already told him he wasn't interested. This made me so upset! So, when I decided I wanted to get more information again, I told Gavin I didn't want to go back to his previous recruiter. We then contacted my brother in law's recruiter instead. He seemed really down to earth and honest. I didn't feel like he was pushing us at all. He explained to me stuff I already knew from my last research, and he answered other questions I had. The recruiter then left for a little bit, and I told Gavin we were doing it. We didn't have to have any other conversation about it. I felt like that was what we were supposed to do and I didn't have any doubts anymore. Gavin, of course, was really happy, but he told me that if I wasn't 100% sure, then it was better for me not to say anything yet, because that would destroy him. I told him I was sure, and even though I knew it would be hard, I had no doubt that it was the right path for us. We were ready.
Well, that's all for today's post. There's a lot more to say, like how Gavin got his Firefighting job and how I'm dealing with him being gone. Stay tuned for more posts to come. This is going to be a long journey!